“I am managing just fine.”
If that’s the response you get when you mention Support at Home to your mum or dad, you’re not alone. Many independent older Australians hear the word “care” and assume it means losing independence, even when everyday tasks are quietly becoming harder.
Often, the resistance isn’t about Support at Home itself. It’s about what they think it represents.
This article explains how to introduce Support at Home in a way that feels respectful, practical and on their terms.
Why The Word “Care” Can Trigger Resistance
For a generation that values self-reliance, “care” can sound clinical and final. It can feel like admitting independence is slipping away.
Reframing the conversation around services, rather than care, often changes how Support at Home is received.
While Support at Home does involve setting up a Support Plan with a registered provider, your provider can work with you to prioritise which approved services to start with, allowing time to build confidence before introducing others. Support Plans are reviewed regularly and can be adjusted as needs and comfort levels change.
What Not to Say (And What to Say Instead)
The words you choose can make or break the conversation. Here’s a quick guide to language that works:
Instead of… | Try… |
| “You can’t cope anymore” | “Let’s get some help with the heavy jobs so you have more energy for the things you enjoy.” |
| “You’re not safe on your own” | “I’d feel better knowing someone could check in and help with a few things.” |
| “We need to get a carer in” | “I’d feel better knowing someone could check in and help with a few things.” |
| “You’re not eating properly” | “Having meals delivered a few times a week would mean less time shopping and cooking, and more time for other things.” |
The goal is to position Support at Home as something that protects independence, not removes it.
Start With Practical Services in The Support Plan
If your parent takes pride in managing their own home, starting with very hands-on or personal support can feel like too much, too soon.
A gentler starting point is practical support, such as:
- Meal delivery
- Gardening
- Heavy housework
How to frame it:
“When we set up your Support at Home plan, we can start with meal delivery a few days a week or help with the heavy cleaning. That way you’re not wasting energy on those jobs.”
Why this works:
You’re not suggesting they can’t cope. You’re positioning Support at Home as a way to reduce effort, not independence.
Meal delivery is particularly effective as a starting point because it:
- Supports nutrition without feeling like personal care
- Reduces shopping and cooking effort
- Creates a predictable routine
- Allows trust to build over time
Once practical services are in place, it often becomes easier to review the plan later and introduce other support if needed.
What to know about costs:
Some everyday services involve a co-contribution, but government funding covers a significant portion. For many families, this is a reasonable trade-off to protect energy and independence.
Read more about Support at Home contributions and fees.
Use Transport Services to Protect Independence
Giving up driving can be one of the biggest blows to independence. It can limit social activities and increase reliance on family.
Support at Home plans can include transport to help with:
- Shopping
- Appointments
- Social outings
How to frame it:
“Your Support at Home plan can include transport so you don’t have to fit around my schedule.”
Why this works:
Transport support helps your parent stay active and connected, while keeping their routine intact. Providers can explain what transport support is available based on assessed needs.
Important transport limitations:
Transport services must be linked to your assessed care needs and included in your Support Plan. If state or local government travel assistance programs are available in your area, these should be used first.
Position Support at Home as a Practical Choice, Not a Loss
Some older Australians hesitate to accept support because they worry they’re taking help from someone else or see government funding as a last resort.
How to frame it:
“Support at Home exists because staying independent often still requires some practical help.”
Why this works:
It removes the stigma of needing care and focuses on the practical outcome: staying in control of daily life while reducing unnecessary burden.
Need help starting the conversation? Aged Care Decisions can connect you with providers who take a gentle, relationship-first approach.
Choose a Provider Who Understands the Gentle Approach
All Support at Home arrangements involve a Support Plan, but providers differ in how they deliver services and build relationships.
For parents who are hesitant, it can help to choose a provider who:
- Is happy to prioritise practical services first
- Sends the same support worker where possible
- Takes time to build rapport, not just complete tasks
This is where Aged Care Decisions can help. Our FREE service matches families with Support at Home providers based on location, preferences and approach, helping you choose a provider that feels like the right fit from the start.
What if They Still Say No?
Even with the right language and approach, some parents need time.
If they’re still resistant:
- Start with the services they’re most comfortable with
- Emphasise that support can be adjusted over time
- Revisit the conversation after a few weeks
Support Plans are designed to evolve as confidence and needs change.
Setting Up Support at Home in a Way That Feels Right
Support at Home involves setting up a Support Plan that includes all your approved services based on your assessment. Providers work with you to prioritise your services and plans are typically reviewed quarterly at minimum, allowing adjustments as confidence builds.
If you’d like help choosing a Support at Home provider who understands this independence-first approach, tell us about your situation. We can create a free Options Report and shortlist suitable providers near you.
